Hey, thanks for visiting. I've just stuck the kettle on. While we wait for it to boil, I thought I'd reveal an extract from one of the short stories from Vulnerable In Front of Fiction, Vol. 1, my collection of short, weird fiction.
This is taken from Dig It, about an undead woman waiting for the zombie uprising to begin...
She wondered if she should sleep until it started. Could she sleep? Was it even possible now? She closed her eyes, even though she didn’t really have to. Habit, she supposed. At least she didn’t have Bob lying next to her, snoring his head off. Thankfully he’d long since given up trying to get his leg over. She’d very much nipped that nonsense in the bud. It wasn’t that she didn’t like sex. She just didn’t like sex with Bob.
It was actually peaceful lying there, in the silence and the darkness. If this uprising wasn’t about to happen, she’d be quite happy to stay there and just rest. Get some Me-time, she thought to herself.
But she hoped it would happen.
She knew it was happening. She just didn’t know when.
It was probably a good time to practice groaning. She didn’t want to get above ground and have to clear her throat while trying to put the frighteners up someone. That would just be embarrassing.
‘MEURRRGHH.’
Oh, that sounded quite good! Deep and raspy. Like a drunk Tom Jones.
‘OOOooh FAAAAR BIRRrrr.’
Ah. So she could no longer speak properly. Did that matter anymore, if her eternal undead existence was going to solely consist of going around ripping into the flesh of people she hated? Sandra thought perhaps it didn’t. Not really.
She wondered how easy it would be to tear into living flesh. The movies made it look so effortless. Laughably so, sometimes. But this was real, not fiction.
What if they get you before you get them?
She decided to ignore that train of thought. During one particular rabbit hole she’d gone down when on YouTube, she’d found an interview from the 1980s with a scientist in the US who confidently declared that humanity would lose if the undead rose. The movies always showed the living ultimately winning “because we are an arrogant species”. Sandra had readily believed him. Humans were horrible, really. It was about time they were brought down. The scientist had obviously done his homework. And so what if he’d later gone to jail for attempted cannibalism? People were too quick to judge, sometimes.
You can find an exclusive extract from A Little Bit of Exorcism Never Hurt Anyone, another story from the book, when you sign up to my non-spammy mailing list.
The book is also available to preorder from wherever you buy your books online.
Enjoy your cuppa!
