It's been so long since I thought of the blue planet as home that I do see myself as alien. I suppose most humans don't have their own ship that can travel in time and space, and can fit in their back pocket! But that's a story for another day. All I'm going to say now is that the previous owner was incredibly drunk and dying. He stated quite clearly that the ship was now mine and threw the keys at me. Well, more like they fell out of his hand before he let out an almighty fart and died.
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Come back next week to find out what the hell is going on in this story!